My Little Doctor

Chase continues to be the doctor in the house.  If you remember he tried to give me my flu shot.  Then he reminded me on Monday for his morning meds.  I think it is because he wanted a sucker and knew I would have to give him one if he took his meds.  Today we pull out a little kit that the Child Life Therapist at PCMC gave us.  She knew that Chase was having a hard time getting accessed and de-accessed.  She sent us home with a doll and some supplies.  Ashton was not too happy about the doll, but it is wearing a blue hospital gown and we call it a him so we are good.  Chase was not shy at all.  He jumped right into it.  He knew how to use everything and where it needed to be cleaned, and poked.  Then last comes the bandaid.  He finished up and said, "there, all done!  Better!"  Maybe if we keep playing with it he will be more comfortable with all the stuff and next time we will do even better (on top of the fact that Toy Story 3 will be our bribe and I am sure that will have nothing to do with how well he does). 

All the supplies!  I forgot to put the emla cream which we put on 30 min. before the nurse comes so he is numb when she gets here.

Ashton's favorite part of the whole thing....the doll!

Introducing Dr. Chase.  He is getting his doll all cleaned up.  He wouldn't pick a name for him though!

A slightly boring video, but I think it is cute to see him in action!

 

Trunk or Treat

This year Halloween came so fast.  Chase has not been to a public function since before he was diagnosed in July.  He has been such a trooper!!  We decided it was time to brave the crowd.  Yes, I was SUPER paranoid. The Trunk or Treat was outside (obviously), but I was still scared to death.  I made him a scooby-doo mask out of his mask.  He took it off to eat a popsicle, but other than that he was good to keep it on.  He probably did not need it, but mom felt a lot better knowing it was on and that he couldn't put his dirty hands in his mouth either.  Our ward is HUGE!!!  There were kids EVERYWHERE!!!  It is actually splitting this Sunday so you can only imagine how many kids there were.  Chase was a little hesitant when we first got there.  Like I said, he has not been in a big crowd for months.  After he got his popsicle and then found out that every car gave him candy he was okay.  He had a lot of fun and it was good for him to get out of the house.  We will find out in the next couple days if we regret our decision and end up in the ER.  Cross your fingers we stay healthy.

Abby looked so cute.  She was dressed as Daphne.  I didn't get a lot of pictures of her because she was too busy.  I will get some more in the next couple days.  Her costume was great except her wig was made for a three year old.  It didn't fit so well.  She is getting a little more independent since she started school.  It is hard for me because I think she needs me all the time, but my little girl is growing up.  I tried to keep track of her the whole time and she was always in either Ashton or I's sight, but there was no hand holding to walk around to cars like there has been in the past.  Mom has got to grow up and let her go.  

Mason was a trooper.  I don't even think he cried once while we were there.  He hung out with my AWESOME neighbor Linds while I tried to keep up with Chase and Ashton walked around with Abby and her friend.  

Ashton got away with an easy costume this year.  Three years ago - Abby was Cinderella and we were the ugly step sisters.  Pictures here if you want to see the AWESOMENESS of our costumes.  Don't tell Ashton I posted these pics because he thinks they were trashed!!!  Two years ago - Abby was Snow White so Chase, Ashton, and I were all dwarfs...Grandma and Grandpa even came to visit and dressed up for Abby.  Pictures here.  Last year I had the hideous costume....absolutely NO MAKE UP.  I was ugly.  Abby and Chase were a black cat and super man, but Ashton and I were pligs, and no Asthon was not the husband.  We dressed up with other couples so we only had one husband.  I was not in the groove with blogging so much last year so you will find the pictures from last year below.  So this year as you can see Ashton got off easy.  He put up no fight to dress up as shaggy.  The only problem is that we didn't ever find him a wig so he doesn't even look  like he is dressed up.  He did grow a little hair on his chin.  Abby told him he had to because shaggy has some black lines on his chin.   I had no trouble with my costume except for the orange socks.   It is halloween and I could not find ANY.  So I dyed some tube socks.  They were hunter orange, but they worked.  Velma was easy to spot in the dark with the bright sweater and even brighter socks.  

I am so glad we decided to go to the trunk or treat.  I really hesitated taking Chase, but it was so sad to not only leave Chase behind, but to split our family up when we have not had a family outing (other than drives in the car and trips to Grandma and Grandpa's house) since July.  It was good for all of us and we had a lot of fun!

This is last year....Ashton is all the way on the left.  I am third from the right. 

 Abby and Chase last year!!!  Aren't they cute!

And here we are this year....

Together We Can.....

Abby was excited to participate in the reflections contest.  The theme was Together We Can.  Abby decided to do a picture with her glitter pens and she wanted to do it about cancer.  She made a big gold ribbon (which is the color of childhood cancer).  Then she did little hearts all over it.  I was quite proud of her.  She had to choose a title for it and make an artist's statement.  She called it Kick Cancer.  Her statement was.... Together we can help my little brother Chase get better.  To get rid of "Leukenia." She is such a thoughtful big sister.  She has been so aware and concerned for Chase and she prays for him every night. 

I went to the assembly this morning fully expecting her to get a dog tag for participating.  The parents of the kids that won got a phone call and we never got one.  I told Abby I would come see her get her prize knowing that they all got something for participating.  They started with the visual arts awards.  PTA pres. told us that something like 150 kids entered this category.  Some categories only have 5 people enter and that is how many move on to regionals.  We will keep that in mind next year.  So they called up the five winners of the visual arts.  Then they said they had some honorable mentions.  My little Abby got an honorable mention.  I was so proud, but not ready with the camera because I was waiting for the dog tags to be handed out.  So I didn't get the video of her name being called, but got the camera out in time to see her get her award and have a smile beaming from ear to ear.  She was so excited that in her eyes she "WON."  She did win....there were 150 entries and she was the top 10.  Good Job Abby....I Love You!!!

Toy Story Obsession

To say that my son has a Toy Story Obsession is an understatement.  Mind you we DID NOT get him this many toy story toys.  Before his first hospital stay he owned the small little figures (not all of them. Only what fit on his birthday cake last March), and he also had the big Buzz and Woody.  The large stuffed ones to the left in the picture were at Kohls up front were you can by the stuffed toy and the money goes to Kohls Cares for Kids so they were like $5 a piece.  Everything else was either brought to him at the hospital or once we got home. 

So you can imagine how excited we are that Toy Story 3 is coming out on DVD on Nov. 2.  That is the next time he needs to be accessed so we may just have ourselves another good prize!!!

Just to help out, the first thing he says is "Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue!"

Rome Italy Temple

The ground breaking for the Rome Italy Temple was this weekend.  Our family was super excited about this because my brother in law served his mission there.  Not only was he there but he lived on what is now going to be the temple grounds for 11 months.  He played soccer in the fields, cooked pizzas in the oven, and had firesides in the olive grove! The temple grounds will have a temple, stake center, visitors center, family history center, patron housing facility, and gardens! Here is a cool youtube video that shows how the temple and temple grounds will look. And also the Rome temple
website with pictures and information about the temple. It's really cool to see a temple going in Italy because the closest temple for Italians has been in Switzerland and Italians go to that temple more
than any other country!

http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/rome/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MgUCQ2pXnE

We are going to start saving our money for the dedication!!!!  Good thing it is a few years away because it is going to take us a while.  Ben, I am excited for the private tour of Italy!!!

Here are the cutest pictures ever of our little Italy fan.  Mason is growing like a weed!

Clinic 10/22/10

Clinic again went great this week.  Chase made counts to go, but wasn't high enough to have his chemo dose increased.  He asked the whole ride up there to go to the house with the balls.  Once we got there he ran right to the pool table and didn't want to go to bed.  I am so happy he has things to look forward to so he doesn't dread the trip up.  We had a great night sleep and didn't even have to hurry in the morning because the earliest they could get us in was 10.

We got to the hospital at 9 because we were ready and had no where to go so we just went.  I took Chase to the playroom on the 3rd floor.  He has not been there since the day of his surgery to get his port.  It was a bitter sweet visit.  He was happy to be playing with the cars that he LOVED when we were there, but it brought back memories of the day we found out our little boy had cancer.  

After playing for a few minutes I had to talk him into going upstairs.  We got up there 45 minutes early so I didn't know what they would do with us, but they got us right back.   He did GREAT again and played with his favorite toy.  The hotwheels cars with the ramp.  This is funny that he always requests this because we have one at home.  Grandma also has one.  He was given this while in the hospital for diagnosis so it makes me wonder if he just associates it with the hospital.  It was his favorite when we were inpatient.  The doc wanted him to open his mouth for her. Chase didn't want to do this.  Once we got him to open his mouth willingly instead of making him scream to get it open like usual, the doc left.  Chase looked up at me with the cutest smile ever and said to me, "I do awesome open mouth."  It was the cutest thing ever!  He knows he is awesome!!!!  After the doc came in and talked to us we headed out the infusion for chemo.  Same chemo as last week with no increased dose.  This made me feel pretty good knowing that he had NO side effects last week and this would hopefully continue this week.  Ashton ran down to the cafeteria to get us some root beer floats.  Our friend in my mom's ward up north finished his treatment on Friday....Yay Kael!  So all of Kael's friends celebrated with a root beer float and sent him pictures.  We are so excited for him (and our root beer floats were tasty).

Chase did great and it was time for de-access.  He hates this, but he did soooo well with his access the day before I thought we were on the right track to not crying for de-access.  On Thursday when the nurse came out to the house and accessed him he did so well.  He usually screams and cries.  I think he did well the week before (all the days kinda blur together now days), but nothing like this week.  I had bought him the show How to Train Your Dragon and kept it for the day he got accessed.  Figured we were going to get it no matter what, why no use it as a bribe.  So he and I looked at the back of the movie and talked about the dragons and their names and the funny parts of the movie.  This distracted him enough that we had no flipping out, kicking, screaming, or SWEATING!  He usually sweats so bad we can't get his dressing to stick after he is accessed.  He whined a little but that was about it.  I was so proud of him.  So the de-access at the hospital went just as well.  The child life lady brought him a bunch of new toys right at the moment of de-access to distract him.  He didn't even CRY!!!  Mom wanted to cry out of joy though!  He was such a big boy this time!  It is becoming a much more pleasant thing to go to the hospital.  We even found Spiderman this time.  He was so excited when we walked off the elevator on the third floor and there he was!!!  Chase ran up to him and got his picture taken very proudly.  We also found some fun halloween decorations outside.  Chase is into the halloween decor and was pumped when we saw the ghost.

Thinking I was in the clear with the vomiting was a good thought, but was quickly proved wrong when about hurricane area on our way home all the snacks from the ride came up into his lap.  I hurried and grabbed the AWESOME pink puke bucket.  Got my gloves on so I would not in turn end up feeding my newest little one chemo!  Got Chase all cleaned up and sat with the puke bucket on my lap for the last 5 minutes of the drive to Grandma and Grandpa's to go get Abby.  Other than the vomit we had a very successful trip!!!

ANC - 700

Platelets - 281

Hct - 35

Wht - 2.7

He still weighed 16.6 kg which is 36 lbs.  He has not lost any weight since his big loss after the steroids ended.  He is still about 6 lbs. heavier than before diagnosis.  Not eating the best, but obviously he is getting what he needs because he is not losing his weight.

Abby had TOO MUCH FUN with Grandma and Grandpa.  They spoiled her rotten.  Took her shopping and to her favorite...Texas Roadhouse.  They helped her put together a show and tell for Kindergarten.  It was so cute.  Her subject was community helpers.  She had a little thing wrote up on the back of a picture of her great grandpa Antone Prince.  He was the Sheriff of Washington County.  She showed them him sheriff's badge.  It was so cute when we got home and she did the whole little presentation for us.  Thanks Grandma and Grandpa for taking such good care of Abby!!!  She had a blast!  

 The pool table at the house we have the opportunity to stay at!

Chase with the Witch and Ghost!

Gotta love Spiderman!!

Chase's favorite toy at clinic!

Root Beer floats for Kael!!!  Way to go Kael you are a FIGHTER!

Way to kick cancer in the BUTT!

Chase was watching TV out of the corner of his eyes I think!

Keep Getting Stronger

This video was on my sister in laws sisters blog. The second I heard of it the first person I thought of was Skyler. Skyler is one of our little cancer buddies. He is fighting the fight of his life right now at PCMC. He is winning and he is doing AWESOME! We pray for him every day! All of Chases little cancer buddies blogs can be found on my sidebar. I want to dedicate this song to Chase, Skyler, and all of his little cancer buddies. Keep fighting...you just keep getting stronger!!!!

Date Set for Biggest Loser

We now have a set date for the Biggest Loser Boot Camp for Chase.  They will be coming up from Arizona on SATURDAY, JANUARY 15TH.  If you want more details on this event go to Biggest Loser Boot Camp

There will be more details to come on my blog as to how you can register if you want to participate.  They are currently setting up a website for online registration.  

Thank you so much for all your love and support!!!!  Chase is doing great because of all your prayers!!! 

Still Stuck in the House....

So being stuck in the house, like I have said in the past, isn't terrible.  I am nursing Mason around the clock so it is actually a lot more convenient to not plan around him, but just stay home and feed him all day.  The kids have no way to release all their energy so dancing is their way of doing that.  I know I have also said, I think we dance on a daily basis.  Usually more than once a day too!!!  This morning Abby somehow out of the blue remembered another very annoying song (next to the crazy frog) and wanted me to turn it on.  They had a great time even though the song goes on and on and on......  As long as they are having fun I can deal with an annoying song here and there.  The end of the week last week we were dancing to Halloween music and Adams family.  It was pretty cute to see Chase clapping on the snap parts because he is not quite coordinated enough to get it right on the beat while dancing at the same time.  Anyway, here is the video from today doing the famous CHICKEN DANCE!!!  Chase had been following Abby and doing everything she does lately.  This video shows it!

 

Staheli Farm and the Pumpkin Patch

 Abby and I went with our good friends Brett and Katie to pick a pumpkin.  Even though Abby and Paisley have completely different personalities they have so much fun together.  For example, we were out picking a pumpkin and Paisley started rolling one of the pumpkins that was there for decoration around.  Abby was not okay with that.  She knew the pumpkin was there for decoration and wanted to roll it back.  So Paisley was pushing on one side and Abby was pushing on the other.  There was even a point where Paisley laid down on top of the pumpkin so Abby couldn't move it.  We were laughing so hard because Paisley was working so hard to move the pumpkin anywhere except where it was supposed to be and Abby wanted things in order and back where they belonged!!!

We had lots of fun! We were so sad that Chase was not able to come, but we did pick a pumpkin for him.  These low ANC's are killing us. It is so sad to get in the car and leave him behind.  Especially when he knows that we are going somewhere fun without him.  He has a great dad though that always seems to make the time at home feel just as special and fun as what Abby and I are doing!

Thanks Brett and Katie for coming to play.  We had a lot of fun and it was so good seeing you guys!

 I love this girl!!!

Paisley and Abby riding on the big wagon behind the tractor out to the pumpkin patch!

 Isn't Paisley so cute!  That face kills me!

"Found my pumpkin mom!"

Clinc - another new phase

So Chase started another new phase this week at clinic.  He is now in what they call Standard Interm. Maintenance.  This phase he gets vincristine and methotrexate IV every time we go up.  They are both different types of chemo.  

The VINCRISTINE he has had in the past.  Some of the side effects are Constipation, stomach pain, hair loss, irritation of nerves: numbness or tingling of fingers and toes, and muscle pain.  Less common side effects are drooping of eyelids, blurred or double vision, jaw pain, and seizures.  

The other he is getting is METHOTREXATE.  This one starts at a low dose and they will increase the dose every time he gets it as long as his blood counts stay high enough.  He has had this in the past, but it has been put directly into his spinal fluid.  This time it is IV.  The side effects are different when administered this way.  The common side effects are mouth sores, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, and abnormal liver functions tests.  Less common is kidney damage, headache, drowsiness, blurred vision, low blood counts, hair loss, skin sensitivity to sunlight, darkening of the skin, and eyes sensitive to sunlight. 

Sounds like lots of fun huh???  Well, we have been overly lucky so far.  Chase has not shown ONE of these side effects yet and his chemo was on Wednesday.  They gave him IV anti nausea before his treatment that they said would last for 24 hours.  We are way beyond that point and still doing fine.  Not only does he not have drowsiness, but if possible I think he has more energy than before.  He came home from PCMC and ran in the house to find dad.  He has been dancing and singing.  He even chased me around the house yesterday with a squirt gun.  I was drenched and he was still not worn out because then he wanted to dance again.  This little guy is one tough fighter.  He amazes me everyday.  I always complain of all my aches and pains.  He has many more reasons to complain and hasn't said a word.  I hope it is because he doesn't feel the aches and pains, but if he does he is fighting right through them.  

Back to the clinic day.  On our drive up we were maybe half way there, Chase knew exactly where we were going.  He is very aware of what is going on, but just doesn't quite understand why.  I think he may even know we are going to the hospital once I start packing up the car.  Anyway, he said to me, "go see fishes?"  It just about broke my heart.  I had not told him where we were going, but he knew.  At PCMC there are a few different things that he loves.  One of which are the fish in the elevator.  Another is the rainbow horse out front and the other is spider man.  We were a little disappointed that spider man had moved.  He has moved a couple times since Chase has started visiting the hospital, but we have always found him.  This time we didn't.  We will try a little harder next time.  After talking to Chase about going to see all these things he said to me while motioning with his hands toward his ears, "and mask on!"  Chase's counts have always been so low that everytime we go to the hospital he has to wear his mask.  He looks pretty handsome it in though!

We were able to stay the night again at the home up in Alta.  We usually get there so late that he just goes to bed and then we leave first thing in the morning.  This time we were there early and he saw the pool table.  He was instantly in heaven.  He loves playing with balls or cars.  He rolled the pool balls around for at least 45 minutes.  Even then I had to bribe him to go upstairs to get ready for bed.  He wanted to keep playing.  The night went well, other than the visitors at 2:30 am.  I was a little scared, but did okay because they never came upstairs.  There is one boy that lives in the house that just takes care of it and the yard.  I thought maybe they were with him, but he was upstairs in his room fast asleep.  I decided to just stay in my room and hope they went away.  I heard them go downstairs and never came back up.  At this point I figured they must also use the house as a place to sleep.  Come morning we talked to the owner and she said she forgot to call and tell the boy who lives there that her son and his band were staying the night.  They drive a white nine passenger van.  I thought for sure there was a kidnapper in the basement!!!

The next morning Chase very willingly put his mask on and wanted to walk the whole time from the parking lot up the clinic.  This was hard for me because then he touches everything.  I am germ-a-phobe and don't want him to touch anything especially in a hospital, but I dealt with it and washed his hands as soon as we got to clinic.  He got out of the car and ran right to the rainbow horse, but was then distracted by the rotating door.  Once inside he was pumped to get in the elevator and see the fish.  I was so excited to see him so happy.  We got to the fourth floor and saw one of our favorite nurses Tracey in the hall.  She was so good to Chase when we were inpatient and answered a lot of questions that Ashton and I had.  It was good to see her and she was happy to see Chase up and running around (when we were in patient he was walking very little).  Chase very willingly got up on the scale (in the past Ashton has to hold him and then subtract his weight).  He usually cries so hard that his blood pressure is off the charts.  This time he sat very quietly and had our first normal blood pressure.  He took his shoes off and stood up tall to measure his height.  All of these are amazing stepping stones for Chase!  It made me so proud to see how well he was coping with it all, but at the same time sad that a two year old has to get "good" at going to the doctor!  

His doc answered all the MANY questions that I had for him.  I have not been up there with Chase for over a month so I had lots of them.  Chase played with Grandma Prince while I chatted with the doc.  Thanks to Grandma for coming up with us and being SOOOO willing to help with anything we need.  Without her the trips would not be so pleasant.  She is one awesome Grandma!

We moved to the infusion area where they gave Chase his antinausea followed by his chemo.  This was the first time since the day before his surgery to get his port that I had to chase him with his IV pole.  He was running faster than I could keep up.  There were times that he was pulling the IV pole by his line because I couldn't get to him fast enough.  He played with all the toys, and was LOVING the dinosaurs.  The only time he cried all day was when they took his line out of his port.  Even then it was nothing compared to past visits.  The nurse had taken Chase's CBC the day before and his ANC needed to be 750 to get more chemo.  His ANC came back as 700 and we had been delayed so many times that the doc wanted to start his treatment anyway.  After getting his chemo at PCMC they decided to take another CBC just to see where he was after another day.  He has came up 100 every week for the last three weeks.  So you can imagine my surprise when they told me it was 300.  It had dropped 400 in one day.  I immediately thought, "oh crap, they already gave him his chemo and his counts were not high enough."  The doc said it was okay and that this probably happens more often than they know because they usually don't take counts again like they did with Chase.   

Chase's counts on Oct 12:
Hct - 38
Platelets - 349
ANC - 700

Chase's counts on Oct 13:
Hct - 34
Platelets - 296
ANC - 300

Once we got done the first thing he asked for was McDonalds.  I think this was out of habit because he is usually fasting but this time was not.  It was only 10:30 am and I was pretty sure if I got him McDonalds there was no way he would eat it.  

The trip home was very uneventful. (which is good!)  No throwing up, no crying, he woke up once from his nap a little disoriented, but then went back to sleep.  He was an AWESOME little boy and I am so proud of him. 

This is what Chase's port looks like when it is accessed.  That black butterfly thing has a needle on the other side that is about 1 inch long.  Scary when you are a little kid and someone comes at your chest with that!!!

The Rainbow Horse

 

It is hard to see with the glare, but here are the famous fish.

Chase and Grandma reading in the waiting room.  I have ALWAYS hated dr.'s waiting rooms....full of germs.  This is one that I can honestly say gets cleaned well every day.  Not quite as worried!

He looks so big in this picture.  Look close his hair is coming back....not for long:(

One of Chase's "classic" faces!

Here he is hooked up getting his meds and chemo.

He was so proud that he set up all the dinos and lined up the frogs!

On our way out he found these cars.  He was so pumped!

Today at church we had a lesson on faith.  I have such a strong testimony of faith at this point in my life.  It has been strengthened beyond what I would have ever thought in the last few months.  Our ward had a special fast for Chase and a few other kids in our ward when Chase was first diagnosed.  The bishop had the ward come back to the church on Sunday evening to kneel in prayer and break the fast.  I stayed home with Chase, but Ashton was able to participate.  He said it was amazing.  The gym was full and you could feel the faith of every person there.  They were there out of pure faith that Heavenly Father would hear and answer their prayers.  Even though He can not take this terrible cancer away from Chase, He can help him through it.  That is exactly what He is doing.  Chase has responded to treatment well and showing very little, if any, of the side effects.  We have been so blessed to have such a support system fasting and praying for Chase.

What the Future Holds

Clinic went as well as can be expected today.  Chase did great.....his counts were not so great.  More of that tomorrow because I am exhausted and going to bed early.  Yes, it is 9:00.  Kids are in bed, husband went out with friends, so I am hitting the sack.  

I just wanted to write a quick little something.  I was almost in tears today at clinic (though I held back).  We were getting our chemo in the infusion area when all the nurses headed to one little patients room all at the same time.  Last time this happened when we were there it was because there was a code blue called and all the nurses ran to the room next to ours.  Scary!!!  Well, today that was not the case.  Once all the nurses got there they started singing.  This is what I heard....

Happy off therapy day to you

Happy off therapy day to you

(being sung to the tune of happy birthday)

they kept singing words that I can not remember because all I could think about was the sweet little one that was inside that room.  I pictured the smile that must be beaming from ear to ear.  The fight that little one has made.  The hospital stays and ER visits they have made.  The many medications they have had to have forced into them.  All the crappy side effects of all the different chemo.  The pain from who knows what.  The times they have been put to sleep and poked at.  The sleepless nights.  The steroid rages.  The bald head and getting so excited when the hair starts to come back, just to have it fall out again.  The list goes on.  So much meaning is behind that one little song of happy off therapy day to you.  That little one fought to be were they are today and deserves a happy song and SO MUCH MORE!!!  I don't know who it was but I just wanted to go give them a huge hug.  I know I am only months into Chase's therapy and we have so much ahead of us in the next 3 years, but when that day comes for Chase, what a happy day that will be.  We will have one happy off therapy day party that will blow any birthday party out of the water because this little boy will deserve that and more!!!

I have become part of a group that I never wanted to be a part of.  I didn't choose to be in this group, but I am, and there is nothing I can do about it.  That being said, I LOVE this group of girls that have become a part of my life.  They are AMAZING!  I read about them on their blogs and ask them advice when I have no one else to turn to.  They always know exactly what I am going through and are MORE than willing to help, or listen, or vent right along with me.  These ladies I have never met in person, but have come to know them through facebook, blogs, and email.  They got together for dinner at PCMC the other night.  I am so far away that I wasn't able to go, but I want them to all know how thankful I am for their support.  There are other moms that have been a big help and support to me also.  One of which is in my mom's ward.  The minute she found out about Chase she was there for me to answer any questions I had.  She took little Abby gifts while she was up at my mom's house and her kids ask my mom every time they see her how Chase is doing.  Cancer sucks, but talking to them makes it just a little better and gives me the hope that one day Chase's treatment will be over, he WILL be cured, but the friends I will make in the process will be for life!!!

 

 

I did not write this, but it just sums up how I feel so perfectly...

I belong to a special group of women

My friends and I have an amazing bond.

We never wanted to be in this group,

Yet we are in, for life.

Maybe we have met, maybe we haven’t,

Yet our love for each other is boundless.

We know the pain the other one feels,

And we share our victories small or huge.

Words like chemo, IV, Zofran , bald heads

Are always parts of our conversations,

As well as roidrage, tears, and meltdowns…

We always know where the closest puke bucket is ,

We can hold it in one hand and if necessary,

Swallow the sandwich the other hand was holding.

We can drive to the hospital ,

Park in the dark parking garage

Make our way thru the halls of the hospital

And to the appropriate floor,

Settle in a room, turn the TV on,

Give instructions to the head nurse,

Silence loud beeping IV pumps,

Direct a wagon AND an IV pole

To the playroom without hitting anything

Make our way back to the correct room

And all this, mind you, With our eyes closed at any given time.

We know how to draw blood from lines

Sticking out of little kids chests.

We can hold them down with one hand ,

While a nasogastric tube is inserted in their little nose,

And be on the phone with their dads at the same time.

We can live for days on hospital food,

And on maybe only one meal a day .

We know the names of up to 20 different drugs ,

Their purpose, dosage and time to be taken.

We are always on call, 24 hours a day ,

Seven days a week.

We are used to not always looking our best,

Hard to do with only a few hours of sleep . M

ake up , hair styling, skirts are words of the past .

We have become addicted to texting ,

hospital, clinic, home, wherever…

We talk sometimes at all hours of the night ,

We know we can count on someone to be up.

Then for one of us , the world stops .

She has to walk away, broken.

This job is over .

The job is over, but the fight is on.

Remember , I said we were in this forever.

We are friends, sisters, temporary nurses,

We are each others rock, each others punching bag,

We listen , we vent , we cry , we laugh together .

We share our lives and our deaths

We share our pain and our victories.

We are strong, but not by choice ,

Sometimes we win , sometimes we lose,

But never are we defeated .

We are not nurses

We are not doctors,

We are cancer moms…

We Entered a World....

We entered a world where everyone is equal, and no one is excluded. A world where we are all the same... ethnicity, language, gender, religion and social status are irrelevant. A world where our kids play bingo and everyone wins. A world where missing body parts go unnoticed and bald heads are the norm. A world where strangers go out of their way to lend a helping hand. Athletes, celebrities, musicians, beauty queens and Santa Claus come to see you, and where anything needed is just a push of a button away. This is a world where no one wants to be, yet everyone is glad they are not alone. This is life on the children’s oncology floor. This world has needles and I.V. poles, MRI’s and CT scans, ambulances and surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, and bone marrow transplants. We all fight the same battle, each on our own battleground, and working towards the same goal; to save our children.

Found this on Cure-Childhood Cancer's- site.

My Son and His Dirty Mouth

Chase has been saying some pretty funny things lately. 

First, he was upstairs with one of our good friends and they were playing the cookie game.  It has a bunch of cards that look like cookies on one side and the other side is the ingredients to make different kinds of cookies.  There are spoons with suction cups on them so you slap the card and turn it over to see what it is.  Well, he was up there with Cam and Cam came down stairs and said, "your son is up there cussing."  At this point I am thinking to myself...Really???  I have never heard him say anything.  Cam told us that he would slap a cookie and turn it over and say, "DAMN!" I was shocked.  I don't cuss and Ashton will once in blue moon, but he has to have a really good reason.  I don't hear him say much (his golf buddies might tell you different). 
So I am waiting for the end of the story thinking there is no way my son has ever even heard that word.  Cam went on to tell us that Chase would slap the card turn it over and see that it was JAM, and what Cam would hear. without seeing what the card was, was DAMN!

Then I am driving down the road and Chase is in the back in his seat.  I can hear him back there saying, "Mama, no dick!"  He keeps repeating this over and over.  I had no idea what he was saying, and I was pretty sure that he has no idea what a dick even is.  I called Ashton and told him we had a big problem....Ashton actually started to get worried because I don't call and give him a hard time as much as he does to me.  I told him that our son had bigger problems that Leukemia.  At this point I could tell Ashton was getting a little worried so I told him that our son was in the back seat telling me that he had no dick.  Ashton was a relieved to hear that Chase was okay (just has gender issues).  Ashton asked me what he was really saying?  I had turned around to see what Chase was doing to get an idea as to what he was really saying.  He was pointing at the DVD player that was a black screen and just said NO DISK.  He wanted to watch a movie and there wasn't a dick...I mean disk in the player!!!

The last story isn't as much a cussing story as it was just cute.  I was in the other room and Chase was yelling at me.  I came into the kitchen and he has one foot on one bar stool and one foot on the other bar stool and the stools are slowly sliding apart from each other and he is going to be doing the splits soon.  He is hanging onto the edge of the counter saying to me, "I in twable mama!" (translation: I in trouble mama!)  Even though he was about to fall I had to laugh!

I love the things my kids say...They are so stinkin' cute!!!

Change of Plans for Biggest Loser

This fundraiser for Chase is still in the works, but I have been told that the date is being moved due to Halloween conflicts.  It will probably be in one of the first two weeks of November or it will not be until the holidays are over.  As soon as I get word as to when it will be I will post the details.  Hope this doesn't mess up anyone's plans.  As soon as I get the date I will hopefully have a website you can link to that will have registration info and more details as to how to sign up.  Thanks for all your support!!!! If this is the first you are hearing of this fundraiser go here for more details!

Hats and Lia Sophia

My sweet friend Alicia who lives in Las Vegas makes some of the cutest hats.  She taught me once (out of the goodness of her heart) to make them but I do not have the talent that she does.  None of mine EVER turn out this cute.  She has designed a new hat in honor of Chase.  She is donating all profits of this hat to Chase. 

Alicia's Website/Blog

Alicia's Etsy Shop

She has also teamed up with Lia Sophia Jewelry to throw a party for Chase.  It is going on now through Oct. 9th at midnight.  They will donate 20% of their proceeds to Chase.  You can order online.  If you have never seen Lia Sophia, they have some really cute stuff.  You can get more details on her blog....

Lia Sophia Fundraiser for Chase

Thanks Alicia and all those who have done so much to help us out!!!

Thanks a Million

There are not words to say how I feel about our whole situation.  If I say that I feel blessed I am sure there are some that are going to think I am crazy.  I really do feel so blessed in my life right now.  Chase is sick, yes, but he is a happy little boy and that is all that I can ask for.  We have our moments that he is not so happy to be doing what we are making him do, but the second that the BAD thing is over he is up and playing like nothing ever happened. 
I do feel so blessed because of all of you.  We have some AMAZING friends and family.  I know there are people out there that have to go through this alone.  I can not even imagine the heart ache and trials they must have.  We have had more prayers and love sent our way than I can even tell you.  For this I am soooo thankful.  In the beginning I told myself that the least I could do was make sure that every person got a thank you card.  I did so well for about the first two weeks.  I stayed caught up and was so proud.  Well, this is not the case anymore.  Like I said we have had so many people help us that I got behind and I got behind quick!  I wish there was a way I could catch up, but it is just not going to happen.  I love you all and I want you all to know how appreciative we are of all the help, support, gifts, prayers, dinner, treats, kind words.....etc. I could go on for a while.  If you don't get a thank you card I want you to still know how thankful we are for EVERYTHING!  This life is so precious.  We have come to realize that the hard way.  We are so lucky to have this chance to live here on this earth.  It really is a gift from our Heavenly Father and it can be taken away so quickly.  I hope to repay all of you in the years to come, by showing my love and support when you are in  your time of need.  I have come to realize how much service I have NOT been doing in the past.  We NEED each other!  I would not wish anything like this on anyone, but when your hard time or your trial comes along I want to help!  Thanks a million and I love you all!!!

UUUUHHHGGGG!!!

That is my word of the day!  Chase had his port accessed again this morning.  By the way, he HATES this.  We have gotten pretty good at the meds.  This whole last month his daily ORAL chemo got easy after about a week or so.  He didn't even chew up the pill anymore he would just swallow it.  Pretty good for a two year old I would say.  He also takes septra twice a day on Monday and Tuesday only.  I used to dread these days knowing we had one more thing to give him, but now if we do it when he is in a good mood or not tired he usually does pretty good.  I got a basket full of prizes from the dollar store and this seemed to help!

Anyway, now we have to find a good reward for having a needle stuck in his chest once a week.  About a half hour before the nurse comes we put a numbing cream on it and cover it with a tegaderm (just a clear plastic type band-aid thing).  He knows that when this happens that there is crappiness to follow.  He instantly starts saying, "no hurt anymore!"  It is so sad to hear him say this.  Even though I have heard it more than I ever should have from my two year old it still melts my heart every time.  I know he is aware of what is going on even though he doesn't understand why!  So then when the nurse shows up to the house he is pretty good.  He has warmed up to her quite a bit.  He likes to take all of our temps. and LOVES to get on her scale and be weighed, but the second we take his shirt off he screams.  He cries so hard that he sweats and the nurse has a really hard time getting the dressing to stick that goes over the needle once she gets it in.  I want to get a picture of him while accessed, but it is going to be tricky because he doesn't like his shirt off while accessed and he holds his left arm (the one closest to the port) like it is in a sling.....the whole time he is access.  He wont even use it.  He makes me lift him up on the chair and couch.  It is like he is protecting it or something.  After the nurse takes blood from his line she leaves the line in just incase we go up north for chemo.  If we don't end up going then Ashton and I have to flush his line with heparin so the blood doesn't clot up in his port and then we have to pull the needle out.  The first week we thought this was no big deal, but when Ashton went to pull it out (and mind you Chase is SCREAMING) he said it felt like he was pullling the whole port out and not just the needle.  We have learned over the last two times of doing this that you have to push with your fingers around the needle because the needle is stuck in that little port good!  

So after describing what the last two weeks have been like I was hoping to not have to do all this again for NOTHING!  But it seems that is what has happened AGAIN!  Chase's counts were still not high enough to start the next chemo.  I feel so bad for the little kid.  He has to keep going through this terrible routine just to be told sorry no treatment again.  

His counts today:

Platelets - 311 (that is good it only has to be 75 to go)

Hct - 36.1

White - 2.4

ANC - 600 (this has to be 750 to go)

So he was sooo close today, but just not coming up as fast I would like him to.  He has come up 200 in the last 2 weeks.  Just not enough for my liking especially when he has had NO chemo at all for the last two weeks.  What is keeping him down???  I asked the nurse this and she asked me if he has been sick.  No, there is no possible way we could be sick because we go NOWHERE!!!  We have been stuck in this house for three weeks now, and need counts to come up so we can get out!  It isn't too bad when we all stay home.  It is the times that Abby has something and just one of us goes and the other has to stay home with Chase.  Chase gets so sad because he LOVES to go bye bye and when Abby gets to and he doesn't it is the end of the world.  So we end up packing him in the other car and just going for a  drive.  It usually ends up at McDonalds for a happy meal or ice cream.  

****Complete side note.  The garbage man just came.  Usually he comes in the morning and Chase goes running out to see him.  He is always so nice to Chase and honks his horn for him.  One week he even got out and brought Chase a poweraid drink.  Anyway, he just came and it is so late in the day that Chase is sleeping so he is not out there waiting for him.  The garbage man still honked his horn as he pulled up.  I am sure it was in hopes that if Chase was here he would come running out.  Oh, the sweet little pleasures when you are stuck in the house all day****

Here is a small glimpse into the entertainment we have being stuck in the house.  Chase and Abby both love to dance.  We have to turn this ANNOYING song on on a daily basis.  Chase mostly just turns in circles because he loves to get dizzy, but when we get him to dance he is a crack up.  The first half of this video is pretty boring.  He is mostly spinning, but if you skip to about half way then the dancing gets a lot better.  Abby taught him to slap his but and it is pretty entertaining.  Also, notice the cleanliness of the house???  Not so clean!  This is what happens when two little tornadoes come through while I am nursing Mason most of the day.  I don't have the capabilities of following them around cleaning....nor to I want to spend my day doing that!!!!

**Be sure to start the video half way through....first half is boring!

Kids Pictures

Tiffany did a great job with the kids pictures!  Chase had no desire to have his picture taken so I was surprised to even get one good one of him!  He was more interested in the toys at Tiff's house.  We found a dinosaur that he liked and that is actually what he is looking at in the photo of him and Abby looking at Mason.  It was down on the ground.  He didn't care about watching the sleeping baby!